This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When are your genitals available?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize