I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
