FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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