OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
