Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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