Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
