Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize