Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
