Me. At least after what I've been through.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
sex in a hospital.. check
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
