This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
