she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
