I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize