Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
