i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
