I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
