Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
