i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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