I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
