you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my sisters under your porch take her home
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
