I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
