so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
