Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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