they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
