this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
