I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
