'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
