All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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