ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
