Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
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Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
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