She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
