My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
