Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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