Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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