Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
