Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
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