How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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