You can't motorboat a personality
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
