so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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