when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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