Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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