JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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