dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize