Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
