Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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