How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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