I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
