Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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