So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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