it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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