All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
