Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
