Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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