i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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