I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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