Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
