Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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