..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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