You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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