I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
