I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
