no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
