dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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