i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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