Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
