He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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