K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
