My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
