I puked a lego.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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