i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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