Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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