you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
