we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
